i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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