i was born a porn star she said
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
