Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
