mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
