I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.