Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
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just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
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I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?