Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?