Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same