You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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