I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
