Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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