Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
