I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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