i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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