I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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