Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
