girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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