is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
