on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You smell like stripper and shame
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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