o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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