On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
