So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
