we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
