I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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