He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
