Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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