Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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