Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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