I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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