Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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