Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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