i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
