just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
