I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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