I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
