he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
