Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
