Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
