It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
