you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize