South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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