im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
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She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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