Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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