well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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