I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
