I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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