38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
