1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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