She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
