Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize