i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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