Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize