We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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