I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
