and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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