I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
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I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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