We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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