just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
