yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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