first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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