you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
