I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize