I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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